Harry's Bad Hair Day
by GeorgieandLoraine
Summary: As Harry wanders down a path in the forest, he comes across a maneating monkey...and this monkey wants something!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **We do not own anything except the man-eating monkey!

**Warning: **Extremely stupid…but fun to write!

Chapter One 

As Harry walked down the well-trodden path, he heard a faint growl to the right of him. Startled, he turned around, and promptly fell asleep. Extremely loud snores were now coming out of the squirming body of Harry Potter.

A monkey emerged from the bushes next to Harry, towering over everything. Its hair was the softest hair around, and it had light brown patches around its eyes and nose. Any girl that came across it would immediately dub it as 'cute'. But in fact it was a very scary thing……..

_**A MAN-EATING MONKEY!**_

But poor Harry, sound asleep on the path, was unaware of the monster looming above him. The monkey licked his lips, and was about to gobble up Harry, but was stopped at the sight of Harry's mangled hair. Eyes wide with amazement, the monkey sniffed Harry's hair…the monkey thought he had the best hair around…but this hair was just as good!

Angered, the monkey swooped down, and tore off Harry's hair, and draped it around his shoulders, using it at a shawl. Harry awoke with a startled yelp, only to find that he was bald, and his hair dangled from a deranged giant man-eating monkey!

THIS WAS WAR, AND HARRY WAS DETERMINED TO GET HIS HAIR BACK…IF HE COULD FACE VOLDEMORT, THIS SHOULD BE A PIECE OF CAKE,SHOULDN'T IT?

Harry and the man-eating monkey danced around each other. Harry thought to himself 'he looks like a stupid man-eating monkey!' But unaware to him, the man-eating monkey could read minds.

The man-eating monkey's eyes turned red, and he yelped. " I AM NOT A STUPID MAN-EATING MONKEY, AND I HAVE A NAME! IT IS FRED MARSEL MONKEY!"

Fred Marsel Monkey was mad…and there was only one way to retain his dignity-kill this stupid good-haired Harry.

End of Chapter One

There we go…a piece of brilliancy wink wink. So review with good, kind words, and you may find out what happens-who wins!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **We do not own anything (except the evil monkey), because if we did we'd not be writing fanfiction…we'd be writing the seventh book. Just thought we'd let you know.

Chapter Two

As Harry and Fred Marsel Monkey danced around each other, Harry tore a blade of grass from the ground, wielding it as a sword. He was going to win!

Fred Marsel Monkey noticed Harry's weapon, and deciding that he wasn't going to be shown down, plucked a leaf from a near by tree, wielding it much the same as Harry.

All of a sudden, just before he was about to attack, Harry decided he wanted to go to Paris. With the decision made, he quickly flung the blade of glass at the monkey, and was going to apparate, when he noticed that the man-eating monkey had tripped over the blade of grass, and Harry's hair had been thrown a mile away.

Fred Marsel Monkey and Harry just looked at each other, before they took off running to fetch Harry's hair. Harry was in the lead, he was going to get his hair, somehow get it back on his and go to Paris!

Harry ran as fast as he could, but the man eating monkey was fast, and he was gaining on him. Harry suddenly sprinted as fast as he could so he wouldn't get squished under the monkey's stinky feet. They smelled as bad as Mr. Filch (better known as Mr. Filth)!

Harry could see his hair in front of him! He started diving for his hair, and he felt a familiar mangled messy mob and rejoiced!

Shouting at the monkey, he said, "I WIN! **YOU** LOSE! **_PARTY!_** GO ME! GO ME! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" And Harry started to do the disco, waving his ebony locks like a pom-pom, all the time thinking how wonderful a cheerleader he would make.

Fred Marsel Monkey was so sad…he had LOST! Sitting down, causing a small crater hole to form, and bawled his head off.

Harry stopped doing the disco, starting to feel regretful for the poor monkey. Finally, deciding he could use help, Harry offered, "You could help me get my hair to stick back on my head."

Fred Marsel Monkey brightened immediately and gushed, "I know _just_ the thing!" He then proceeded to drag Harry towards a sap-dripping tree. Grabbing a handful of the sticky sap, he put random globs of it all over Harry's head. After completing that to his satisfaction, Fred Marsel Monkey grabbed Harry's hunk of hair and sloppily slapped it onto his head. It was lopsided.

Harry moved.

His hair fell off.

Like the monkey had only minutes before, Harry sat down on the ground and started to bawl his head off, except he didn't make a big pit.

Fred Marsel Monkey, worried for Harry's sanity, rushed to the nearest Staples. He burst through the door, causing everyone within a yard of his feet to faint because of the horrible smell. Ignoring them, he got a bottle of Elmer's Glue, and went back out without paying. No one challenged him, though, because of his feet.

Hurrying back, he found Harry in the same place as he left him. He squirted the glue on to Harry's head as if he was icing a cake, then he proceeded to put the hair on Harry's head.

Harry shakily got up and his hair…

We love cliffhangers…when we're writing them!

Review…please?

**Giddyupgal:** We would like to give our first (and only, except for Loraine…) reviewer a special thanks! We were so excited when we received your review – we thought we wouldn't get any, and were just doing this for fun! We made Harry and Fred Marsel Monkey friends – they'll probably go on a picnic, too.

Thank you and we must remind you to……**_REVIEW!_**


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